into this whole parenting adventure, I had the
realization that, as a mother at home, i am
the one primarily responsible for how Cadee
develops, at least early in life. And I
intentionally wrote a lowercase "i", because when I
start to think about the awesome responsibility I
have accepted, I begin to feel a wee bit small and
insignificant. Me? I'm supposed to raise
this baby to be an able, loving, generous,
intelligent adult?? Whoa.
once in a while, I would find myself somewhat
freaking out because I was having an "off" day...
too tired and weary from the constant sleep
deprivation to feel like I was actively engaging my
daughter in ways that would stimulate her
development. I mentioned this to my father and
that I felt like I was wasting a precious day for
brain growth. His response was silence and
then a quiet, "uhm, I think you're being a bit hard
on yourself, Jennifer."
there's any comfort in this new realm of life as I
know it-- besides the ready smile of my daughter,
which suggests I must be doing something
right-- it's the understanding that I'm not the
first to feel this way. Obviously, I'm not the
first parent to feel angst over raising a child.
And then there are Biblical examples. Jeremiah
didn't think he had the stuff to become a prophet.
David felt dejected by God at times, feeling cast
into a pit. Even Jesus, on the night he was
arrested and ultimately led to his crucifixion,
asked God to take the cup from him.
all, at some point of challenge in our lives, felt a
wee bit small and insignificant. We ask of
God, "you want me? Really? Me? I'm
afraid I'll screw it up. I don't want to let
You down." And I imagine that our Father's
response is not much unlike my dad's comment to
me... "Uhm, I think you're being a bit hard on
yourself." With an added, "I know you
can do it. I've equipped you to do it.
I've picked you to do it." And, perhaps, most
importantly, "I'll be with you all along the way."
we pick up, and we move on, trusting in God's promises and wisdom.
Grace and peace
to you as you journey.
Yours in Christ,