a while, no?? One of my girlfriends (also a
new mom) just sent me an e-mail saying she'd spent
some time on my website, and commented that, from
her perspective, the "best part" of the site is that
the last Musing is from March which, she says, "I'm
so glad to see, because if you'd updated it in the
last several months, I'd think you were superhuman!"
Ah, an unexpected, yet much needed, statement of
grace. Thank you, Angie.
much has transpired since the last Musing, which
really is too much for one sitting, so I'll space
out my thoughts over the next few entries (whenever
I'm able to write them). But right now, I want
to focus on life. And death. And life.
precious daughter, Carol Deanne (aka Cadee) entered
the world on May 1st. It is simply impossible
for me to look at this perfectly formed miniature
human who was knit from inside me, and not come to
the overwhelming conclusion that life comes from
God. It is a miraculous gift. I think
when we see it in the most petite and youngest of
forms, we are struck by the significance of what it
means to be created in God's image. To have life.
To breathe. To have a beating heart.
Eyes that see and ears that hear, and a brain that
connects all the dots. Seeing the life that is
Cadee, and seeing life through Cadee as she
experiences everything for the first time
is really humbling.
times in my life have I just gone through the
motions? Taken for granted my health, my
eyesight, my gray matter? To be able to move
about and breathe on my own and verbalize my
thoughts. So many miraculous gifts of God to
be thankful for, it makes me wonder how I could ever
ask for anything further. And yet, the
offer is there, as we are instructed, "Ask, and it
shall be given to you." What a great and
generous and loving God is He who made us!
having a child weren't enough instruction for me...
Five days after Carol's birth, I hemorrhaged as a
result of a very rare condition I had developed
during pregnancy that had gone unnoticed and
undiagnosed. I had lost a lot of blood during
the birth, and ended up bleeding internally for the
days following the birth. On May 6, I lost
over 3 liters of blood in a very short amount of
time and quite nearly lost my life. Thanks to
an able medical team, the selfless folks who donate
blood, and most certainly, the hand of God, I am
still around to watch my child grow.
question, how many times have I just gone through
the motions? Taken for granted the absolute
gift that is life? Or not thanked God for
this gift? I wonder, does He ever look at me
and think, "Tsk, tsk. I wish she cherished her
So now, I
hope to live my life expressing this gratitude for
breath, for brains, for blood, for babies, for
beating hearts. Thank you, God, for giving
life to me. What a great and generous and
loving God are You!
Grace and peace
to you as you journey.
Yours in Christ,