Several folks have asked me if I've stopped writing my Musings.  Nope.  Just lagging behind in my list of things to do.  I'm still dragging my feet on getting my tax information together, for example.  But, it's always good to learn that people actually read what I write, so I appreciate the subtle reminder to get cracking!

So, while I'm on the subject of being backlogged with responsibilities, let me just stay there a while.  It seems that everyone I'm bumping into these days is experiencing a higher degree of stress, feeling behind in work and chores, and burning the proverbial candle from both ends.  Speaking personally, at 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I'm anxiously awaiting that supposed "nesting instinct" to kick in, where I develop the energy, stamina, and super human abilities to accomplish EVERYTHING I've been wanting to get done over the last months.  Not just wanting to get done, but actually needing to get done.  You know, all that stuff that haunts us in our sleep or gets jarred back to the front our brains while we're showering.

Does it seem to you that the to-do list takes on the proportion of the number Pi... just rattles on and on?  I find myself crying as I'm engaged in some mundane chore, that little kid kind of cry that comes from being over-tired, over-stimulated, and over-whelmed.  I just want to hold my breath until I'm blue and say NO MORE!  (Of course, I'm sure pregnancy hormones play some small part in all of this.)

And, in the midst of all my whining, I hear the message for me.  Most recently, it came in a Sunday school lesson.  We're studying the Ten Commandments, and our lesson was on keeping the Sabbath.  The gist of the message for me was this: if I spend all my time toiling, laboring, striving, and don't take a day off to rest, then my personal identification becomes skewed.  My life becomes about what I have accomplished, rather than about who I am, and, more importantly, whose I am.  The result, then, becomes a shift in worship... a shift from worshiping God to worshiping myself and my own successes.

It's not easy.  We spent a good deal of time after the lesson talking as a group about how we do it... how is it possible to fit all the stuff of life into 6 days and rest on the 7th.  Yes, yes, I know, God created the whole world in 6 days, so surely we can finish that memo at work and get the laundry done, right?  But we're not God (as much as we might like to think we are), and we find ourselves stuck in the mire, bogged down by seemingly never-ending responsibility.  Folks are relying upon us to complete our tasks.

So, what do we do?  I don't know.  But I do know from personal experience that I felt my closest to God and at my most peaceful existence when I took a bold leap away from the societal idea of the "norm."  In that place, I found more energy, more creativity, and more joy than I'd felt before.  In that place, God was God, and I was God's child who listened and followed where led.  Ahh, such peace. 

So, I guess the word for me today is to remember the Sabbath, even if I have to baby-step my way hour by hour until I can make Sabbath out of an entire day.  It sure beats holding my breath until I'm blue.

Grace and peace to you as you journey.

Yours in Christ,  

~~Jennifer

3/26/07

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